Chung King a.k.a. Rick's Cafe

Jeffrey Zia
August 29, 2001

This time the food is actually pretty good, not really authentic, but at least the cook has some skills. Also, this is the closest we have come to disqualification. As the premise of Lowbrow Gourmet goes, a bill more than $10 is grounds of disqualification, unless, of course, it is expensive and shitty.

Atmosphere: this is one of those chinese joint/pub kinda deals, so it's got smooooooth lighting, a big screen TV, and some such. This place actually has non-disposable cutlery, which is a plus. The miscellaneous oriental wall hangings are here. The plates and bowls are all heavy ceramic, not particularly chinese but fits well with the fairly sizable portions they serve. 7.00/10.00

Fiasco factor: halfway through my meal, the manager actually came over and rearranged my utensils and plates. Turns out my waiter is actually just a trainee, so I provided a crucial lesson for that upstanding young man. Someone at the bar was telling his huntin' stories, mostly about deer hunting and pheasants overkilled with a shotgun, and how he has to spit out the lead pellet as he ate it. Makes me want to join P.E.T.A, or People for Eating Tasty Animals. 8.00/10.00

Overall: the food is good! at least they know how to make a good beef and green pepper stir fry. The peppers and onions stayed crispy, and the beef was tender. Much better than a previous encounter with ordering out Dragon Express, where the beef and peppers were swimming in the black sauce. It's a stir fry, not a stew--unless it is some impressionist cooking where the chef is trying to recreate the deadliness of a prehistoric tar pit. Chung King (or Rick) got it right, and it shows. 8.00/10.00

Final verdict: 8.00/10.00

Finely skirting the edge of disqualification, Chung King is definitely a worthy choice, they also serve buffet at lunch, definitely worth trying.

I already have the next target picked out: Jade Pacific. Since it contains both stereotypical words, it automatically gets a 2.0/10.0. It also boasts a combination of Cantonese and Szechuan flavors. For those not familiar with chinese geography, I don't think the two are even bordering provinces. Szechuan goes the spicy route, while Cantonese leans toward mild flavors and refinement. The place also got a fake thatch roof, a la the KowLoon on Rt.1 that the massholes should know about. Should be an adventure.....

Z, wishes he could kill his own meat, wait, that sounds bad....